"Did you know that over 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by February?" You've probably come across this widely cited statistic quite a few times since the start of the new year.
Experts and authors offer different explanations for why this happens. In my experience—both personally and in working with clients—one of the biggest stumbling blocks is that people set goals that are outside of their control.
In this article, I'm going to introduce a simple way to reframe your goals to make them more achievable.
Are Your Goals Out of Your Control?
Setting goals can be overwhelming. With countless techniques like SMART Goals, HARD Goals, or the 1-3-5 method, it’s easy to feel confused. But regardless of which method you use, the most important factor is to set goals that are within your control.
To illustrate what I mean, let’s look at two common types of “out-of-your-control” goals:
Outcome Goals: These describe what you want to get or have, like “I want to get a better job” or “I want to find a partner.” While outcome goals can provide motivation and direction, most of the time you can't directly control the results.
Emotional Goals: These describe how you want to feel, such as “I want to feel more confident” or “I want to stop feeling anxious.” It’s the type of goals that clients typically bring with them to their coaching or therapy sessions..The challenge with emotional goals, too, is that we are not really in control of how we feel.
If your goals fall into one of these categories, don’t worry. There’s an effective way to reframe them into actionable, controllable steps.
Turn Outcome Goals into Actions
Most outcome goals can be broken down into process goals, which focus on actions you can control. For example:
Outcome Goal: “I want to find a new job.”
Process Goals:
Research job opportunities online.
Update your resume and cover letter.
Network with professionals in your industry.
Apply to three jobs per week.
By doing this, you shift your focus from the outcome to the actions that can lead you there. This not only increases your sense of control but also keeps you motivated as you can track your progress and celebrate small wins along the way.
Of course, process goals can be broken down into more manageable chunks if needed. For example, “Research job opportunities online” could be broken down into:
Identify relevant job platforms.
Set up job alerts for specific roles.
Focusing on process goals allows you to take consistent action, bringing you closer to your desired outcome without fixating on factors outside your control.
Transform Emotional Goals Into Behavioral Ones
If your goal is based on how you want to feel, consider reframing it into behavioral goals that focus on how you choose to act and behave. For example:
Emotional Goal: “I want to feel more confident.”
Behavioral Goals:
I will speak up in at least one team meeting each week.
I will share my opinion during group discussions with friends.
I will practice a new skill for 15 minutes daily to build competence.
Confidence is built through positive experiences and repetition. The more often you do something successfully, the more confident you will feel over time.
Another common emotional goal is “I want to feel more connected.”
You could reframe this as:
I will call a family member once a week to check in with them
I will put away my phone during conversations with loved ones.
I will plan a coffee meetup with a friend once a month.
You can’t control your emotions. But if you change your behavior consistently, it may, over time, change the way you feel.
The Power of Aligning Goals with Your Values
Behavioral and process goals also offer a great opportunity to live your core values. When you act in ways that are in line with what’s important to you, you’ll find fulfillment - even if you don’t achieve your end goal.
When your goals align with your values, the journey itself becomes meaningful and fulfilling.
Take me writing this article for instance: Instead of focusing solely on how many views or likes this article will receive (an outcome goal), I choose to see writing it as an act of sharing knowledge and supporting others—a behavioral goal that aligns with my core values.
When your goals align with your values, the journey itself becomes meaningful and fulfilling.
Take The First Step
Remember, the key to achieving your goals is to focus on what you can control. Whether you’re breaking down outcome goals into process goals or transforming emotional goals into actionable behaviors, small steps lead to big changes.
So, what goal will you reframe today? Take charge of the process, and success will follow.
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